Yonatan’s Bar Mitzvah

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Very exciting!
My son Yonatan (Jonathan in English) has just reached the age of 13 – so he’s a Bar Mitzvah!
While in Jewish law he is now responsible for his own actions and has basically all the responsibilities of an adult, I am feeling like my job is just beginning.

Now is when he is starting to make decisions about what type of person he wants to be.
Which friends will he choose? Which of his talents will he decide to utilize? How will he get past the inertia that keeps him from achieving more?
While these are his decisions I feel it is my responsibility to guide him and help him understand the options.
[Translation: If you mess around in 7th grade and get lower grades, you will have a hard time getting into the high school that you want to go to in 9th grade]

I don’t think telling him what I think he needs to do will ultimately be the best plan – so here is my thinking at this stage:

  • Try to get him to come to his own conclusions – people usually like conclusions better when they arrive at them on their own
  • Try to be an example for him – knowing that he watches me
  • Letting him in on the types of decisions and issues that I have – and letting him know what factors I use to address them
  • Finding the areas in which our interests overlap and finding ways to interact in that common ground

    • And if all of that fails I am planning to use bribery. (Is that so bad?)